Index

Table of Contents
	Preface 	
	Moby Dick 2.1 	1
	A Standard for the Transmission of IP Datagrams on Avian Carriers 	3
	A Problem in the Making 	5
	How I Bought My First Computer 	7
	BOFH (Part 1) 	10
	The Generic Word Processor 	12
	Natural Upgrade Path 	17
	The Case of the Bogus Expert (Part 1) 	19
	Ordinary People Tell How They Use Their Personal Computers 	20
	I am the Very Model of a Genius Computational 	22
	Zork, RAMS and the Curse of Ra: Computo, ergo sum 	22
	Laptop in Colombo puts Campbell in the Soup 	25
	Masters of Computer Science 	26
	You'd Better Love Your BLANK Computer: The Generic Computer Book 	27
	Shakespeare on Programming 	29
	Evil Aliens Control IBM 	30
	Mother Should Have Warned You! 	33
	BOFH (Part 2) 	34
	Latest Sun and IBM Announcements 	36
	Twelve Ways to Fool the Masses When Giving Performance Results on Parallel Computers 	38
	The Case of the Bogus Expert (Part 2) 	42
	Real Programmers Don't Use Pascal 	43
	Gateway To Heaven 	54
	Zen and the Art of Software Documentation 	55
	The Unix Philosophy 	57
	Field Replacable Mouse Balls 	59
	Babbage - The Language of the Future 	60
	Gulliver's Computer 	63
	"Uncle Bill" is in the Driver's Seat! 	65
	Breathlock Service To Go Companywide 	66
	To My Darling Husband 	68
	Computer-based Predictive Writing 	69
	Making Your Serviceman Feel Welcome 	72
	Man, Bytes, Dog 	73
	Microsloshed Walls 	76
	The Tin Men 	77
	A Users View From The Trailing Edge 	82
	Lisp: They May Also Serve, Who Decline to Enlist 	87
	The Case of the Bogus Expert (Part 3) 	88
	Alternatives to OSI 	89
	A Salutory Tale of Software Development 	94
	You Get What You Pay For? 	97
	You Can't Fool'em Down On The Farm! 	101
	BOFH (Part 3) 	102
	ADA: The Devil's Work 	104
	Netmail Spreads Common Cold 	105
	I Know What's Wrong With My Computer! 	106
	What is Technical Harassment? 	107
	I'm Just A Two-bit Programmer On A Sixteen-bit Machine 	108
	If Architects Had to Work Like Programmers 	109
	VAX and IBM 	111
	The Australian Fifth Degeneration Project 	116
	An Ancient Rope-And-Pulley Computer Is Unearthed In The Jungle of Apraphul 	117
	The VAXorcist 	125
	Small Ads 	133
	La Boite Bleue 	134
	The Difference Between Hardware and Software 	135
	User Friendly? You Must be Joking 	136
	A Day in the Life of a Network Manager 	137
	The Complexity of Songs 	139
	Write in C 	146
	A Simplified Guide To Hardware Maintenance 	147
	A Linguistic Contribution to Goto-Less Programming 	150
	BOFH (Part 4) 	154
	The How-To-Choose-A-Computer-Book Book 	157
	The Case of the Bogus Expert (Part 4) 	161
	A Parable About Generality in Architecture 	163
	Taking a Stroll Down Babel Street 	165
	Please Remove This Label 	168
	Productivity in Computer Science 	170
	Is Big Beautiful: Some Computer Cartoons From The 1960's 	173
	Creators Admit Unix And C Were A Hoax 	178
	The Uzi Versus the Computer 	180
	The Church of the Cyber-Spiritualists 	181
	Personal Computing 	188
	BOFH (Part 5) 	191
	Out of the Mouths of Babes 	193
	Computers Don't Argue 	195
	Transcripts from the General Motors HelpLine 	210
	Related Reading 	211